so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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