why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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