I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
