Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
