well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
