I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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