I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Me too!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
