Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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