Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
