bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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