So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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