so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
smell my finger.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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