So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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