oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can you bring me the toilet please
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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