and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize