No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
