if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize