She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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