We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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