I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Alive.
So much puke
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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