the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
