Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
