Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
