white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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