I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
