O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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