You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
