I must be too annoying 4 u.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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