I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
