he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know, be my cock's hype man.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
