Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
