meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
