Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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