My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
