Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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