I could have mohawked her pubes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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