i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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