Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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