3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't deserve a penis
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
