Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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