There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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