Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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