he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
