I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
