you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
