Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize