There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
