Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Randomize
