Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
