I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
