dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
