You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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