I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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