erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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