Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize