hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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