i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
