his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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