he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
