I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
