dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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