Where did you get a picture of my penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
