How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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