shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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