new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
