Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
