Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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