I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
