I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
