You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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