Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
