so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He has the fingertips of a God
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