White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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